Empowered

“Truth is not only violated by falsehood; it may be equally outraged by silence” Henri Frederic Amiel

10 years ago I sat in front of my parents terrified.
I feared they would never love me after the words I would say.
I feared every minute of the future.
The immediate future.
The next 5 minutes, 10 minutes, hours, days, and years.
I feared the rest of my life.

Within the next 5 to 10 minutes I would tell my parents of the sexual abuse that had been occurring for as long as my memories would refer back to.
The minutes after I uncontrollably shook.
The hours after I retold each moment.  Time after time.  After time.
Each time reliving it.
That moment I watched as words that fell from my lips shook my family to its very foundation.
It shook each of us to Christ.
My reality was now completely and amazingly transformed into something new.
For me, it was a brilliant new chapter of life I was free of a secret I had held and believed for so long.
One that told me that I was marred and something was incredibly wrong with me.
I was victor over this through Christ and the empowerment that instilled in me to release the hold that Satan had over me through my abuser.
As this tragic news became reality I saw them process and grieve through something that was a victorious moment was their extreme downfall.
Shock and disbelief are inadequate words to describe what was transpiring.
February 9, was a day of Freedom.

Today, for me, is a significant mile marker.
It marks, that I have now been over half of my life abuse free.
It has been a long road of recovery and there are still moments.
Moments where Satan uses this sadness to get a foothold in my life.
However, I have a incredible God who has instilled in me a peace.
He has provided me with multiple trials since then that break me to my core,
yet through Him and falling into Christ I am as strong a woman that I could aspire to be.
This experience did not ruin my life and it did not make me a weaker person.
Yahweh, my Father in heaven has freed me from this abuse.
Most of all He continues to show His presence, acceptance, and a love that will never fail me.

The tragedy of abuse was my life for so long.  The tragedy of child abuse is the reality of many children today.  I believe that God will use me in an incredible way to impact the lives of others.  I would urge every other child or person that has experienced similar difficulties in their lives to speak out about it.  With our silence we are enabling.  Enabling darkness and pain.  The powers of darkness held me captive and silent for 9 years.  It is my prayer that you right now may be empowered through Christ to speak out.  Your voice has the ability to heal yourself and save the other children at risk by your abuser.

And hey, remember, this is not your fault.  It never was. And it never will be.