Hero

Hero

 

I can't stand to see,
The sadness in your walk,
Or the hurt deep in your eyes.

If I could make you happy,
Just fly you away,
But I am no hero.

So I will just stand,
Here by your side,
And hold your hand.

Listening to you fears,
Drying all those tears,
While wispering it'll be okay.

If only I could,
Mend that broken heart,
I would just for you.

Oh, what I'd give to be,
A Hero for a day.

Fleeting Lilttle Moments

Memories..

I love memories, yet I hate to remember.  I think back of when I was a little girl.  I am reduced to tears because life is so fleeting.  Can’t I be a child forever?  I hate memories.  I hate being able to remember.  It tears me apart.  It is the constant possibility of nightmares, horrible nightmares, ones that when I wake, I cannot shake off.  They have the ability to hang with me all day.  I do not try to remember my childhood because it is clouded with hurt and pain.  I miss my childhood terribly.  I miss the happy moments.  Times when I would choose to forget and enjoy the fleeting moments.  I do not understand myself.  The random moments that I cannot withhold the tears, times when I am filled with anger and the urge to take it out on something, and times I just give up. I will never understand myself because I will never understand what happened to me.   



Short and Sweet

How I Feel

 

I can’t seem to find
The words I need
To fill up this paper
Have a lot to say
But it just doesn’t flow
Like a stream or river
I need to let
The words come alone
No pressure to explain
How I Feel

"My Story"

MY STORY
I had to go through it,
It wasn't my choice,
Nobody knew.
I'm screaming inside,
Try to hide the pain.
Like a bad dream,
Yet I couldn't wake up,
It wouldn't end.
I'm so confused,
I feel guilty,
Like it's my fault,
But is it?
Jesus my comfort,
Was always right there,
Holding my hand,
Through thick and thin.
I lived through my nightmare,
But not alone,
Jesus was my refuge,
He pulled me through.
This is My Story.

 

This is one of the very first poems I ever wrote.  At the time I wrote this I was looked at one painful time in my life as the core event in my life.  I let this event and troubling time in my life define me.  God and this event defined me.  Yes, I thought I had it figured out. God defined me as well as this "time" that helped shape me into who I am.  I have looked at it this way for years until a short while ago. I was talking to a very good friend of mine about this particular time in my life.  I stated, "so that's my story" and my friend (who I am not going to quote directly due to the fact that I don't remember what was said word for word) made it clear to me that this wasn't my story.  It was only the beginning, it had been the introduction of my life, the prologue.  God works in numerous ways, ones that we cannot even begin to imagine or understand.  God used my friends simple statement to redefine how I approach and view my life. I see now that the major event(s) in My Story may still take place.  God is the editor of My Story and He couldn't have done a better job. 

 

Jeremiah 29:11 

For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.



Reflection

Reflection

Sadness in eyes threatening to smile no more
Eyes that once danced to life’s song
Hurt that goes unnoticed far too often
A hurt that does not break but builds
Builds walls ones of security in seclusion
If you search, love is to be found here
Love that once given is strong and loyal
I looked again and saw as such
Eyes screaming for approval in anyway
They have an aura of worthlessness
These are eyes of one made to feel unworthy
I think I have found all that I can here
Yet as I gaze deep into this shattered soul
This is what I found. Anger.
Anger at all these things
Hate towards all who caused this
But above all a blazing anger
One towards a mere existence
All this I saw in the face of a girl
Only to realize it was my own reflection

Dreams

Today I was reminded of Gods miraculous grace in my life

Dreams

In you I see a dream
One that shall never die
An old dream within a young child

Something you've created
And only you can put into motion
It is a beautiful thing

I have a dream, it's truly a dream
Something that will never live
Yet it will never die within me

God is in control
Sometimes storms
of life come to
teach us that God is
in control, that we
must lean on Him
and learn to be
thankful for the
richness of His
blessings to us.
~ Max Lucado

This is how I shall begin...

Puppet

The pasted smile begins to crack

A life with a dark secret is no life at all

It gnaws and claws until you’re paper thin

Like an item on a shelf in the busy market place

Your silence is bought through gifts and beautiful lies

He ravels a story to make you believe

You'll never be accepted if you bring it to light

You are his prey, so gullible and naive  

How can you believe his speeches of finery threaded with lies?

Your life is controlled by invisible strings

As a puppet in the hands of a cruel puppeteer

Skillfully constructed into a vulnerable masterpiece

Now a steel box encloses you heart