Hide & Seek
This specific day will forever be engraved in my memory it
stands out more than others. The reason
for that I am not sure. It was late
afternoon time entering early evening. I’m
pretty sure it was a Wednesday because I’m quite sure I was relieved that
another week had almost come to a close.
Half way through only downhill
from here and then it would all begin again. As evening crept in the normal routine of the
day came. My sister started getting ready
to go to dance class at Nancy Whytes. This was a regular occurrence five times
a week. May mom was reviewing the list
of errands she was going to do during Jordan’s dance class. They would leave and I would go through my
routine; enter in behind closed doors and he would get as much done as he could
before my dad returned home, exhausted, from work. My mom is ready standing by the door waiting
for Jordan to grab her last things before they make the thirty minute drive
into Bellingham. Dance was a dream of my
sisters as well as a tremendous commitment.
I absolutely hated ballet. Now that
I have looked back I did ballet perhaps only to get away for a few more
hours. A few less moments that are
traumatized. My mom is ready to go, so
am I. I hadn’t told her that though. We’re about to go, he’s been watching me. I know it’s coming I ask, “ mom, can I go
with you?” “No,” she had said no. I
begged. I cried inside. How could she not see I was pleading. What had I done? Was I that big of a
hassle? She denies my plea on last
time. We were standing in the
entry, I remember. Out the door, I hear the latch click shut as
I watch the figures walk away through the glass door. No, it’s gunna start I can’t do this today.
My hell begins. I need a rest. My emotions…I’m young. I know it’s wrong. I know this isn’t
normal. He gives me the wink. That dreadful terrible wink. I hate it.
I will always hate it. My little brother is outside playing in the dirt
with his toy trucks, He’s so innocent so unaware of the world outside of
him. I’ve never blamed him. I will never blame him . Entering his room, Seth’s room, it
starts. I shut down. I am ashamed, a few
minutes, I knew I couldn’t do this today, too much. “I have to go the bathroom” my lame excuse
falters from my lips. He pauses, he’s bought
my lie, he lets me leave. I walk out, he
doesn’t follow. Thank, God. I go very
quickly, the bathroom…. I clean up in every time. The bathroom is right outside his room. You could have a foot through each door. I slip, quietly, outside. He doesn’t know. I hide. My brother is outside he raises his
head smiles and returns to his trucks. A
couple minutes pass…I hear him coming. I
crouch behind a bush praying he won’t see me.
He steps onto the deck, and looks around “Zach, have you seen Randi?”
Zach looks over at me. I frantically shake
my head and mouth “We’re playing Hide and Seek.”
